Dear Suckers,
Every time you wait in line for yet another electronic raping P.T. Barnum's dead toes curl. Apple zombie apocalypse has already occurred and lets face it you did not survive. I have seen and used Apple products and just because they did it first doesn't mean it is or ever will be the best. So while you allow all of your personal data to be sucked into the cloud that is currently being hosted by the NSA I will remain anonymous with my antiquated phone that makes phone calls. I don't care how many tinfoil balls you stuff into your hippie beanie when you give out your fingerprint recognition information you might as well use your privates as the face recognition key to unlock your phone. Slavery no longer needs chains it has catchy dubstep tunes played through over priced ear buds that still don't last any longer than the cheap ones. Oh yes my little piggies you are being lead to yet another slaughter. Wait until that freaking iWatch has a damn polygraph feature added to it without your knowledge. Hurry out today to obtain your new Orwellian finger sucker. I can't wait to see what you can't do with the new iOS7 and the hoops you have to jump through to make it actually work without giving your credit card information to Al Qaeda.
