The "Big" Day

Well tomorrow it is back to the doctor. We will be discussing the "options" for treatment. I had hoped that a better option than what is facing me would become available but I don't get an easy button. As schedules panned out we have no one to watch the kids so I am flying solo. I will miss having my wife there to temper my nerves. I have to get my big boy pants on in the morning, suck it up, and deal with it. I am not afraid of the treatment or the side effects as they are temporary. I am however very nervous about the 100% iron clad cure option. I have a family that needs me and am not prepared to leave them in a lurch. Hell my youngest son would barely remember me if this goes badly. I feel like I am carrying a very heavy weight on my shoulders and am now being asked to run up a muddy hill. School didn't prepare me for this. My folks didn't prepare me for this. Only life has given any illumination as to what is to come. I don't blame school or my folks but wow this sort of stuff should come with a manual. I see the worry in the eyes of those who are closest to me. That hurts the most. Not being the rock, the tough guy, the pillar, or the anchor. I always thought I could puff up my chest and stick out my chin and take on the world. Well God has a funny way of dealing with that sort of arrogance. Thank you for the lesson Father, it was much needed. Well time to get some things done and move on to fixing this so we can carry on with our grand plans.