Friday, December 7, 2012

Feed them more rope!

Alright Conservatives lets go for broke! Forget trying to spare the sheeple the learning pains and give their Jim Jones figure head 100% ownership of the debacle he has created. I am certain what they are trying to do is wrong so let them be wrong. A lesson in shitting your own nest is the order of the day. Let him take his sheeple to the brink of the Kool - Aid bowl and we will be able to get ANYONE elected in 4 years.

Mathematically everything they propose will not work. The entire world is holding their breath awaiting the debacle that is to come. Most world powers are pointing their finger and laughing at the rest of us trying to keep these idiots from walking around with their foot in a trash can. The level of cranial rectumitis is going to be staggering.

When they can't afford their single cup coffee pods, restaurant food, fake nails, apple products, and electric cars they will rise up against The Kool - Aid man and revolt.

Meanwhile lets plan to tax the hell out of granola, tofu, bean sprouts, and bean curd!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

No more Mr. Nice Guy

Gloves are off Washington! You have failed us as a leader, a governing body, and as Americans. We are being sucked dry by you money thirsty vampires and it is time for it to stop! All this hand holding and press conferencing is WORTHLESS unless you have a plan and enact it! You ignorant fools could not pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel. You are killing us slowly. This bloated carcass of a governing body has become ultimately self defeating. Someone needs to pick up a hatchet and start trimming dead wood or we are finished. Believe us when we say we are watching and you do not want to force that hatchet into our hands.

Lets try killing all funding for Non-essential, Non-infrastructure projects. Save the spotted owl and counting Mustang testicles will have to wait. No more foreign aid until OUR budget is balanced and we are a debt free nation. Little Hadji will have to scam a sandwich form someone else. I really think it is foolish to worry about how many cats and dogs are dying each day when we should be worried about how many PEOPLE are dying each day. No food leaves this country until every American is fed!

Prisoners should be made to farm or fill potholes immediately. If they don't earn enough to feed themselves or farm enough to eat oh well sorry for your luck. Lets make club fed a little less comfy. Effective immediately all Court cases are CANCELLED! If it is not a life or death decision throw it out and fine any lawyer who files a case that is not a life or death decision case. All proceeds from any civil lawsuit should be fined at a rate commensurate with covering the ENTIRE cost of maintaining our court system. All lawyers fees shall be taxed at a rate commensurate with the same.

Priority will be immediately given to becoming energy self sufficient. No more tax dollars will be paid to OPEC nations. The United Nations will be expelled from this country and the building put to good use housing victims of Sandy.

Stop screwing around and get this country fixed immediately! 

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

World Affairs

Yes folks it is a sad day when people actually think digging up old dead Muslims might provide closure and ensure peace in a region rife with angry little men. These are the biggest bunch of cry babies I have ever seen in my life. I have experienced more legitimate testosterone at a drag review! I am so sorry you are experiencing a life that sucks so much. It seems you complain about everyone and anyone who fails to meet your standards. You sure can preach it but you certainly have proved you can't live it. Time to take some responsibility for how and why you are being treated the way you are. You burn our flag, attack our embassies, kill our people, hijack our planes, attack our infrastructure, kill civilian targets, and make countless hate videos showing our people being beheaded. Think about how you are teaching us to treat you. Is this the way you would like us to treat you? Perhaps if you make an honest effort to stop being petty dictators, terrorists, and thugs you might get a chance to join us in the real world. Of course if you would like to return to the stone ages and cook your meals over fires made from dried camel manure I am sure we can accommodate you. Just keep doing what you are doing now.

Now to the topic of The United Nations. What a failed joke. If you think you can take away our freedom that so many of us have died preserving then you have another thing coming. I suggest you either pull your bottom lip over your head and swallow or expect to be tarred, feathered, and run out of this country on a rail. Try us we can and will defend our democracy starting with evicting you. This charade you think you are perpetrating on us ends now. Take your Marxism, Socialism, and Communism and stick it from whenst it comest.

And finally financial aid. Kiss it in the brown! It needs to stop and stop now. I am all for humanitarian aid but giving these morons cash is like giving a drunk money instead of feeding him. They will take our cash and buy guns and bombs not food or medicine. So lets send them surplus food and a box of bandaids and see if they can do any better than we did building a country. This crap about buying them is stupid and has proven to fail time and time again. Take all that foreign aid money and put it into the military. I am willing to bet we can play king of the hill a hell of a lot longer than they can.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Strange but true loop hole

According to our Constitution Article II and the 12th Amendment if 1/3 of the electoral college does not cast their votes it then falls on the House of Representatives to elect the new President. What does this mean? Well if just 18 red states electoral college members vote just like Senator Obama "present" then the next President of the United States of America would be decided by a Congress that holds a Republican majority. Now keep in mind even red states have blue electoral delegates and this would require them to jump ship. It is a long shot at best but at least it is still a possibility.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving.

This is a short but sweet message. For those of you who are admonishing the pilgrims, and the American people for the treatment of the American Indian Kiss my robust freckled butt! You bunch of cynical hypocrites need to get with reality for 5 seconds and stop beating that pathetic little bleeding heart drum like one of those battery powered monkeys. You sheeple haven't done jack for the American Indian and will never do anything for the American Indian. Just a little hint, you are more like the Pilgrims than you realize. You voted for Obama twice? Well you are treating middle class conservative Americans just like the pilgrims treated the American Indian. So why don't you take that oh so smug certainty that you are right and cram it back up where the sun doesn't shine so that this lesson might sink in from osmosis for I am sure that is where you're keeping your head anyways.

Food, food, and leftovers!

Thanksgiving! My favorite meal of the year. Not just the fare but the reason for it. I am always amazed that even after a rough year we sit down together and are truly grateful to have each other. It also warms my heart to see my wife get to share her love for cooking with her children. I also like reaping those benefits. We always have tons of our perennial favorites; Turkey (of course) Stuffing ( plain sage nothing to fancy I mean really why screw up a good thing?) Mashed potatoes made with half & half, Sweet potato casserole (the kind with the little marshmallows on top) Corn pudding (Sweet Jesus the corn pudding!) Southern style green beans, Broccoli casserole, Cranberry jelly ( If it isn't shaped like the can it isn't Thanksgiving!) Yeast rolls Pumpkin pie, Pecan pie, Apple pie. Several tricks of the trade that enable my wife to sling that much hash is careful shopping, preparation, electric roaster for the turkey (I must make a side comment on this. It is the perfect way to have roasted turkey. Fast, self basting, crispy skin, and moist meat. Not to mention the time savings and space is made in the conventional oven for all the other dishes) Team effort is the final ingredient in a perfect meal.

Now the leftover part. I have perfected the Annual Thanksgiving Dinner Leftover Casserole. Layer after layer of yummy goodness topped with cheddar cheese. I put the leftover stuffing on the bottom, then green beans, turkey layer, grave on it all, then top it with mashed potatoes covered in a generous amount of shredded cheddar cheese. This in concert with the other leftovers is a magnificent way to both clean up, store all the food, and add a spin on the leftovers. 2 Great meals for the price of 1 and plenty of bird left for sammiches!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A letter to my boys

Dear Son,

     I would take on the world for you if I could. Even when you think I am not paying attention I drink in every word. You are my past, present, and future in one package. In my eyes you are perfect. I am not being mean I am being passionate. I fuss because I am worried. I rejoice in every advancement you make. You amaze me every day. You are the better part of me given back as a joyous gift that I get to enjoy with each breath I take. When you are sad I am sad. When someone hurts you I get mad. With every smile it makes me glad to be so lucky to have you. I try very hard to give you the benefit of all I have learned. I try very hard to steer you from the pitfalls I failed to avoid. I want to teach you right and try so hard it hurts. Everything I have is yours without having to ask. I want more for you than even you can imagine. I relish the person you are becoming and cherish the life we have had together. I may not be here forever but you will be with me forever. I will never stop watching over you. I wish for you all the joy you have given me. I love you and am very proud of you. I may not say that near enough or with enough conviction but it is there in every thing I do for you. If you fall I will be there to teach you. If you succeed I will be there to praise you. If you cry I will be there to hug you. No matter what happens from this day forward I will always be there to love and watch over you. Be who God made you to be and be happy with who you are. I already am.


Love,

Dad

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Middle East

Ok a bunch of you folks are going to hate my politics on this but here goes. We have spent 12 years playing paddy cake with these two faced pricks over there. We send them money they buy bombs to blow our troops up. We send them aid they sell it to buy bombs to blow our troops up. We rebuild their country and they start producing oil so they can sell the oil to buy bombs to blow our troops up. Anyone see a pattern yet? Time to end this once and for all.

Phase one STOP ALL AID TO THE MIDDLE EAST!

Phase two Transfer all surplus ammunition to the bases closest to the middle east.

Phase three carpet bomb them into submission and assume their country.

Phase four section the middle east off and name each section after a major gasoline company in The United States.

Phase five start drilling for oil and sell it at ridiculous prices and put China, Russia, and all non-aligned countries into the dark ages.

Phase six repeat process with anyone else who attempts to screw with us.

This stupidity ends! No more lengthy occupation forces. Take it over and repopulate it. Gather up all the illegal aliens and send them over to drill for oil until they earn enough money to pay for an American education, legally become an American citizen and pay back all the entitlements they have stolen from my children. Anyone offended by this see if illegals get better treatment ANYWHERE else! Time to take care of our own.

One does not walk into America without paying taxes?

Mark my words folks taxes are about to go up. Yeah you middle class folks who thought Obama could spare you? ERROR! This is setting up to be the epic fail of all time. Rebuild the middle class? I can think of another R word that is going to happen to the middle class and it isn't a pleasant thought. All that money you thought Mamaw and Papaw were leaving you? Cut it in half and then some cause Uncle Sam is writing himself into that will.

Relief is coming! It was announced that President Obama is going to meet with Reverend Al Sharpton regarding fiscal issues. I bet that is going to be a beer swilling good time! Please explain to me what Al Sharpton knows about fiscal issues? OH HELL the IRS is coming with a collection plate! They will sit in you're living room and pray with you until you pay them to leave. Just how many times can you handle "Just as I am" on replay on the old iPod?

So while Michelle racks up frequent flyer miles on Air Force One and eats fresh Maine lobster The American People will get the cold green weenie for four more years. Marie Antoinette said "Let them eat cake" and look where that got her. I recently went to my middle son's school for a "Thanksgiving Feast" no wonder the kid comes home hungry every day! I couldn't have choked that slop down if you had a gun to my head. This was a special occasion where the school knew we would be there I cannot imagine what the normal gruel is.

As the folks on Staten Island live out their own real life "Escape from New York" scenario and the stock market circles the bowl. As major corporations close their doors laying off thousands of workers and the average American sees fewer work hours, less pay, and more financial pinches the taxes will go up. Brilliant strategy simply brilliant. I wonder if Geithner got this off of turbo tax?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Straight or Gay?

Let me be crystal clear at the beginning of this post. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE! The chances of us having sex together is ZERO! So why must it come into the equation? I am not going to judge you by who you sleep with. I am not going to judge you by who you choose to spend your life with. I am not going to deny you respect because you are gay or straight. I REALLY COULD CARE LESS! Why is this even an issue?

Dear right wing nut jobs wearing modern underwear, If you quote Levitican laws I will throw rocks at you! You no more follow those rules than anyone else! Now do I believe that even the religious nut jobs should be forced to accept any definition of marriage other than their own? NO! That being said there is not a single reason why marriage of any kind should not be protected by law. If you choose a person to be with for the rest of your life that should be enough to garner you every right anyone else has. This debate is stupid, bigoted and wrong.

"Don't act gay in public and we will get along" HOGWASH! That is just as stupid and bigoted as saying that homosexuals are sinners. Here is a little clue nutbag WE ARE ALL BORN SINNERS. Doesn't matter if we are born gay or straight! How about this? "Don't act straight in public and we will get along" HA!

Now lets get to the moral issue I have a problem with, Monogamy. If you choose to marry then be faithful to your spouse! All this sleeping around gay or straight is breaking down the moral fiber of society. If you can't be faithful keep your damn pants on! This is a simple rule that everyone should be able to agree with. I don't care if you are single and want to have multiple partners but if you are in any sort of a relationship then respect the other person and stay faithful! This is where I feel even the nutbags can loosen up and agree.

Why is this an issue? can someone please tell me why we are still debating this after all these years?

Dear obscure Facebook post posters

I am sure we all have at least one of these folks. You know the type that post generic general rants or statements directed at the ether instead of at the individual they have issue with. They never actually talk about anyone in particular but they sure are angry about it. Here is a clue there Sparky get off Facebook and go deal with your problems!

Unfortunately this is an indicator to a much larger problem. Remember when your parents confronted you with a very uncomfortable topic or situation? Recall how inside you felt angry, embarrassed, frightened, concerned, and disconnected? That was because they were right and your ego would not allow you to admit that. Face it people as a human being you are wrong at a minimum of 50% of the time. Once you come to terms with that harsh reality things become a good deal easier.

The second mistake we make is assuming someone else is right or lucky more than we are. No they are not they are simply better at keeping their dirty laundry in the clothes hamper than you are. Don't be jealous of other folks who seem to have it easier than you do. They are having huge problems with something you have already dealt with and have control of.

Basically that square peg you have been whacking with a hammer all along still doesn't fit in that round hole. Lets try talking to people instead of trying to passive aggressively snipe them or flame them on a public forum hmmmmm?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I'm a Father I don't get to be easy.

http://poststar.com/news/local/photos-of-teen-s-stripper-party-pique-police-interest/article_53e467fa-2ead-11e2-9c59-0019bb2963f4.html

So parents of a 16 year old boy didn't get a clown, magician, or hypnotist for their son's birthday party. It begs the question what other form of entertainment did they get? If I wanted to be mean or cruel maybe a Mime or a motivational speaker? Nope they got the young boy a stripper. I may have made some bonehead choices in my time but not thinking about my kids first is against my Parental Prime Directive. Then I read about a Victoria's Secret model posing with her very young daughter? Isn't that against the child pornography laws? http://www.aol.com/video/victorias-secret-model-poses-with-daughter/517540412/?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000058&

I am a Father to 3 wonderful boys. I could sing their praises in 1000 blogs. I could gripe about the troubles they cause me too. I make choices that effect my children every day. I am painfully aware that every time I try to "wing it" as a parent I jeopardize their future. Sometimes my kids swear I hung the moon and all the stars. Most times they think I am Shrek's mean brother. I make them eat dinner as a family, go to church, do their homework properly, act and speak politely, use sir and ma'am, please and thanks, pray at meals and bedtimes, eat their vegetables, and drink water. I have to teach them the right way so that they can more easily learn to do things their way. I hold nothing else I do every day more important or sacred.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Apparently Barry has a burr under his saddle

In a press conference Wednesday President Obama got a little snippy. Well lets see he thinks Republicans should lay off Ambassador Rice with regards to Benghazi. "She had nothing to do with Benghazi" claims Barry. Well lets see who was it I saw on EVERY major Sunday news talk show talking about the spontaneous attack? Ohhhhh yes it was Ambassador Rice. Pardon me there Barry but why did you send her out to talk about Benghazi if she had nothing to do with or knew nothing about Benghazi? I am really surprised he hasn't thrown Brain Surgeon Biden under the bus on this one. If Republicans are going after easy targets then maybe you should issue an executive order that incompetence will no longer be tolerated?

It really shows your level of intelligence and insecurity for you to lose your cool in a press conference and get all defensive over something that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED! This administrations gross incompetence has cost the lives of American citizens and must be punished if not removed. Even Nixon didn't kill anyone.

Since when did news stop being news?

I have tried to find a single news source to quench my lust for information. These days we see news shows with panels of talking heads arguing with each other over topics of the day. Since when did journalists become authorities on anything but journalism? If we want to discuss the military or politics why do we have a panel full of people who report on those topics instead of those who do this for a living? I understand there is more to life than a college degree and that some folks are rife with life experiences. I do however appreciate those who have less education than I to be better listeners than talkers.

I am sure I could heed some of my own advice and stop spouting off about everything that has been a burr in my saddle all these years but at least I am choosing an appropriate forum for such things instead of company Christmas parties and church gatherings! I recall a time where news reporters reported the story not their slanted opinion. If I want your opinion I will ask. If you are an ass about it and I want your opinion I will tell you what your opinion should be.

I would love to see a straight journalistic approach to the news again and let me form my own opinion. This world of arguing mouth pieces is really beginning to bore the socks off of me!

David Petraeus

I don't know about you folks but I could do with a lot less of where David Petraeus has been sticking his member in my news these days. I mean we didn't care this much about where Bill Clinton stuck his Dutch Master! I know we need to be respectful of one another especially a Woman's right to control what happens to her body but come on. On a personal level I am sure those who know me can attest I treat ALL women with the utmost respect. That is until they prove to be something other than respectable. I am fairly certain that David Petraeus (So tired of typing this guys last name) didn't go out and club this woman over the head before dragging her back to his cave. I am also very certain there was something there other than knuckle dragging, raw steak eating, testosterone driven, lust that made David Petraeus (Good Irish Boy right?) pursue an extra marital relationship with her.

No matter if you judge him a lecherous old toady or sick little pervert there is more to this than we know. I am not talking about conspiracy theories either people I mean good old common sense! We have all played the diversionary tactics game to hide our shenanigans now haven't we? It is mighty damn fishy that all of this was known months prior to the election and not one word was said then?

I do not condone the actions of David Petraeus (Where did he get that last name? You say Dad and I will slap you) but we can all agree this stinks like yet another crap sandwich from the political realm. We can only choke so many of those crap sandwiches down before we get a tremendous case of the red ass and do something about it. I for one think our government has become a worthless money pit that has hair balled into a world wrecking nightmare. Feel free to exercise your right to rant on this topic as it is unfolding.

Problems with being PC

Well hello folks and welcome to my first ever attempt at being a "blogger". You may hate my politics before it is all over but you will have to admit it is easy to love to hate me. I welcome comments and lively debate as always. Just remember if you can't take the heat don't fling poo in my kitchen!

Now to the topic at hand. How many of you are finding it increasingly hard to be Politically Correct these days? While I must agree old sayings like "Call a spade a spade" are both offensive and overly vague I believe "being PC" is the lie most folks tell themselves in the mirror each morning. Any of you who wish to argue with me about the fact you never judge anyone will find my take on this compelling. We as simple creatures must make judgements about everything we do every day. We judge the food we order, make, or buy at the store every time we are hungry. Will it be yummy? Is it healthy? Is it worth the money? You get my point. If we just mindlessly ate the first thing we came across every time we would not be in very good shape. I for one would be very cranky if I had to eat tofu all the time. Denying that you make judgements is a complete and total lie. The really sad part is you are lying to yourself!

Now to the real kick in the pants. You judge people the same way. You do so every time you meet someone. They make you smile. Make you feel comfortable. Make you squirm. Make you mad. Make you wish you had gone ahead and gotten that conceal and carry deadly weapons permit. The only way you can account for those feelings is the judgement you make of these folks verses your experience with others like them. Deny your nature if you will but that is how you were built.

Absolutely you can step out and go against your gut instinct but how far on that limb will you truly travel? Lying to yourself and promoting your Political Correctness to others does not make you a good person. It makes you a neurotic delusional with limited social skills. How is that for Political Correctness?

Finally bashing others for being honest no matter how harsh they are about it is being Politically Correct? How about that Bill Maher? Here is another crap sandwich eater who throws money at lost causes and then whines about it later. Pony up and speak your mind and stand behind your statements or learn from the mistake it was to open your mouth in the first place but stop using Political Correctness as a shield. We can't afford a nation full of sheeple who cannot make a decision and stand around all day eating the crap sandwiches others feed them and wringing their hands wondering who they have offended!