I Don't Feel Well

When I don't feel well stops being an excuse and becomes a way of life. When pain, like a raw nerve as sharp as a knife. You used up your resolve just the other day. Life is an obstacle that gets in your way. When sleep is a curse that comes at a cost. When you awake in pain you know you have lost. Time ticks on by but it doesn't get better. You live out your days just under the weather. Family and friends faces are so sad. They know what you are going through must be bad. The perpetual smile that graced your face now looks like a smirk has taken its place. Doctors and lawyers just to get by leave with nothing just wanting to cry. To face your children from day to day when they know that you are feeling this way. They all walk on eggshells and act as you're broken. You fall into society just as a token. Your faith is stretched paper thin no hope of success no win win win. What is left to do but move at  your slow pace. One foot in front of the other a pathetic race. You turn your back on the things that you knew when bathing and dressing is all you can do. Angry and grumpy a constant friend. I just want it all to end. Thinking of what you leave for your wife. A broken unhappy sad little life. Trying so hard to make it all work. Trying so hard not to be an ungrateful jerk. I think I will go now it all has been said. Another day dawning on hope that is dead.